What SHOULD happen to online pirates…

Online pirates are really ticking me off.  Hey…it’s STEALING.  Really.  It is.  Don’t download someone’s book without buying it.  If Karma kicks in, what SHOULD happen to online pirates:

1)      The second he/she downloads a pirated copy of a book, a huge, one-eyed pirate should cover the screen, flip the jerk the bird…and fry the hard drive.

2)   In addition, all electrical appliances should explode in the pirate’s house.

3)   Huge, bulbous, gigantic hemorrhoids should attack the pirate…making it so he can never sit and read again.  Huge.

4)   The most embarrassing website the pirate has ever visited should send instant emails to his mother, grandmother, and first grade teacher with pictures and full details of the schmuck’s online surfing.

5)    The pirate’s worse picture in existence, anywhere in cyberspace, should be blown up and sent to every contact he has ever made.

6)   His picture, phone number, and email address should be advertised in every ‘for sex’ magazine and website in the world.

7)    A picture of the pirate with a threatening message toward the President should be sent to every Navy Seal and Green Beret team on active duty.  And those retired.

8)   A computer generated virus should explode the individual keys on his computer and dye his fingers neon green for life.

9)   His computer should create a toxic gas that creates scales to cover his entire body.  Heck.  Let’s make them boils instead.

10)     Remember those hemorrhoids from #3 above?  They should burst.

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9 Responses to What SHOULD happen to online pirates…

  1. LOL Rebecca! All that AND then his parrot poops on him before flying out the window, never to return again. Aarg!

  2. Lynn Rush says:

    This is AWESOME!

  3. Oh how great it would be if all those did happen….

  4. jeff7salter says:

    Jeez, Rebecca, tell us how you REALLY feel about piracy of someone else’s creative work. LOL.
    You’ve got some great ideas here.
    BTW, most of these could also be used on the real ‘high-seas’ pirates. We’d have that stuff cleared up in about 90 days.

  5. You are right on with this one, Rebecca. All this and more. Excellent post.

  6. Gerri Bowen says:

    Everything you said, Rebecca! 😀

  7. We now have better distribution of books (eBooks) at affordable prices – there is no excuse for anyone to download a prirated book – it’s theft pure and simple. Prosecutions of website owners who continue to facilitate theft needs to be progressed. I look at the Estee Lauder company. They came down hard on any website selling their products online and got them with ‘copywrite infringement’. They spent the money, took the pain at the beginning and have virutally stopped any of their brands showing on unauthorised websites. Surely the big publishers can work together on this. It only takes a few court cases (one in Germany and one in Asia – from Estee Lauder) to show they meant business should help stem the tide of book theft websites growing.

  8. Ahhh…a vengeful woman! We are kindred spirits, you and I. 🙂

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