I’m Just the Author

I had a funny conversation with a very nice lady the other night.  Thought I’d share.

Nice Lady:  So, you’re the gal who wrote the book on vampires.

Me:  Yes.

NL:  I like vampires.  I saw your cover.  You did a good job on that.

Me:  I really like the cover, too.  But I didn’t do the cover.  Kensington did the cover.

NL:  Oh.  Well, it’s pretty.  And I really liked the back cover – it makes your book sound fun.

Me:  Thanks.  But I didn’t write the back cover.  The marketing department at Kensington did.

NL:  Oh.  But aren’t you the writer?

Me:  I think so.  But I don’t know much about marketing.

NL:  Well, at least you got to choose the name.  FATED is a really creative name.

Me:  Ah………

NL:  You didn’t choose the name?

Me:  Um, not exactly.

NL:  Are you sure you’re the writer, dear?

Me:  Pretty sure.  (Though I was feeling a bit confused at this time.)

NL:  Okay.  (Sounding just a bit doubtful.)  So, I have a Kindle.  Will FATED be on Kindle?

Me:  (On all that is holy.)  I have no idea.  Sure, probably, but I’m not sure when.

NL:  Well, this is just your first book.  I’m sure you’ll get better at this, dear.

Me:  Thank you, I’ll sure try.   🙂

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26 thoughts on “I’m Just the Author”

  1. Lynn Rush says:

    Oh my word, that was funny! All that little stuff…don’t worry. You ARE the writer, girl! All those thousands of words between the cover, title, and back cover….they’re yours, and they’re awesome!

    Write on, my friend!

    1. Thanks Lynn! She was the nicest lady, too. 🙂

  2. danicaavet says:

    LOL, priceless! I just had an e-mail from my cousin sharing my newest publication dates and she asked me “is that when the real book comes out or the digital one?”. Huh. I thought they were one and the same! 😉 Non-writers. Gotta love them!

    1. Oh man, no kidding! I also spent about a half an hour trying to explain to another lady that she didn’t need to give me money to get her a book. That she could get it from a book store. And she said, “Oh, no. I’ll be in California in February. They won’t have it there.” 🙂

  3. LOL!!! WOWOW this was hilarious. Actually, because all the other stuff was covered by other departments proves you’re the writer – you get to focus on the guts while they work on the package! That’s what I’m talking about! Way to be!

    And what is with people thinking e-books aren’t the “real books”? I seriously hate that!

    1. I know! I love e-books. Sigh.

  4. Chris Bailey says:

    Hahahahahahahaha! Accept the accolades for all of it! The cover, the back cover, the title–none of it would exist without you! Congratulations on not losing it with a real reader!

    1. Thanks! And I think she felt sorry enough for me she may even go out and market to all her friends. Whatever works! 🙂

  5. Too funny! People I meet are still agog that it takes so long to go from contract to printed book.

    1. No kidding! They always look at me like…how long?!? 🙂

  6. Amber Stults says:

    That was a good laugh to start my morning with.

    1. I’m glad, Amber. 🙂

  7. Lol! Don’t you love people?

    1. Hi Robin! You know, I really do. She was trying to be so reassuring! 🙂

  8. OMG. I was laughing so hard while reading this at work, that co-workers made me share. They know how much I’ve been struggling with the same questions from people who don’t understand the business and patted me on the shoulder. Too Funny and thanks for sharing such a great conversation. Loved it! Made my day.

    1. I’m so glad, Rachel! Sometimes I’m not sure I understand the business…but I’m trying. 🙂

  9. Julie Hinsz says:

    Sounds like you had a great time with her!!!! Just tell people thanks and move on!

    1. Hey Julie! Good idea! 🙂

  10. That is so funny. I realize this was an older person; but don’t you sometimes wonder where people come from? I have talked to customers and wonder if they are even from our planet.

    1. Hi Eva! I think the lady was wondering what planet I came from. 🙂

  11. LOL! While reading this, I visualized a child standing in the front of a classroom, twisting back and forth, stubbing the toe of her shoe against the floor while she tried to remember her lessons. Hilarious!

    1. So true, Maeve! I just did NOT know what to say. But, she was so sweet! 🙂

  12. Kelly says:

    So funny!
    Nothing like authorial control, is there?

    1. Hi Kelly! I’m with you – control is an illusion. 🙂

  13. Ciara Knight says:

    I just saw this because my son has been using my laptop for school after his broke. *sigh* OMW-Too funny! Maeve is so right. I pictured the same thing. Although, your cover does look fantastic, the words are what makes the story.

  14. Shawn says:

    This is hilarious! Read it at work and started laughting out loud!