My dad’s going to read my book

I have fantastic parents who are still together after more than forty years of marriage.  And my dad wants to read my book.  Of course he wants to read my book – he’s my dad.  But…there’s sex in my book.  And not the closed-door, see ya in the morning kind.  My hero’s a vampire – the guy bites.

It brings to mind the one sex talk my dad and I had – sometime in high school when a girl in my class became pregnant.  My dad and I stood swinging nine-irons on the practice green behind our house.  It went like this:

DAD:  WHACK.  He hit to the green.  “So, I heard so and so was pregnant.”

ME:  Slice.  I hit the nearest tree.  “Yeah, I heard that, too.”

DAD:  Whack.  He put it right next to the hole.  “Follow through and roll your wrists.  Do we need to talk about it?”

ME:  Smack.  Closer to the green.  “No.  I need a new glove.”

DAD:  Whack.  In the hole.  “No.  You need to break your wrists faster.  So, about sex…”  Whack.  Dad hit the tree.

ME: Whiff.  I missed the ball completely.  “Not interested in sex.”  And believe it or not, I wasn’t.  I loved high school and my home town.  But I knew my freshman year in college would occur at a school on the beach, and no way was I missing out on that.

DAD:  Whack.  Who knew?  There was a sandtrap just beyond the practice green.  “Well, sex is your business.”  His voice kinda cracked here.  “But if you get pregnant, it becomes my business.  Point your left toe toward the pin more.”

ME:  “Okay.”  I rolled my wrists, broke them in time and pointed my toe toward the pin.  The ball rolled to within an inch of the hole.  “Nothing to worry about, Dad.”

DAD:  He blew out a breath and then hit the tree again.  “Good talk.  Want to get breakfast?”

So, I figure my dad’s been around a bit and knows that vampires bite.  Anyway, he’s promised me he’ll skim FATED’S  spicy parts.  🙂

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20 Responses to My dad’s going to read my book

  1. Sayde Grace says:

    Oh my god that is too funny. My parent are not even allowed to see the cover of my book! I had a difficult enough time telling them my pen name because I didn’t want them to google it and read any of my work! You’re brave lady!!

  2. Brandi Hall says:

    Oh my god, I so feel your pain on this one. So many times we’ve had the discussion about “why” I could never write erotica — and this is reason #1. I’m even afraid to mention “naughty” words.

    You MUST keep us posted on how it works out — and what he says. Perhaps you should be there so you can see his face. Or, maybe you could have someone video tape his reaction…hehe.

    Good luck, mama!

  3. Kylie Brant says:

    Very cute story 🙂 I cannot even imagine my dad even broaching such a subject with me! But my mom died well before I started writing. And after nearly 30 books out, I have to say my dad has read them all. I think it’s a labor of love Maybe he feels he has to. But I’m okay with him skipping the love scenes. In fact, I prefer to imagine he does.

    But I’m not going to ask, either!

  4. Heather says:

    This made my afternoon (especially since I’ve been struggling on how to write a spicy love scene for this very reason)! As awkward as it may feel for you, I can imagine it is exponentially more uncomfortable for your dad. Good luck!

  5. I guess you could say I have the opposite problem because my daughters refuse to believe their mother knows anything about sex. I guess they think I found them under a cabbage leaf!

  6. LOL. Too funny! My 84-y-o mom finally read my first book, and my only consolation was that she was so freaked out at the idea of shapeshifters and various types of undead people, I don’t think she could even fathom the sexy bits. She did say, “I don’t think your uncle Bill needs to read this.” He’s a preacher. I had to agree!

  7. Tracy says:

    Love your scene!! It’s brilliant. Can’t wait to read your book…

    And I feel your anguish–I didn’t even want my dad reading an excerpt from my book! Nor all four brothers. Not even my mom.

  8. Lynn Rush says:

    Too funny!

    It’ll be interesting to hear what he says after reading it.

  9. Joan K. Maze says:

    That’s hilarious. My first question about sex resulted in my mother telling me to ask my older sister, who wasn’t home, and by the time she did get home, I’d forgotten what I wanted to ask. Too busy with having fun.

    More recently, my son caught me reading a romance and told me I was too old for that.

    He’s got a lot to learn.

  10. Rebecca, after 40+ years of marriage your dad knows plenty about s-e-x, so he’ll understand the juicy parts fine. I have the same problem, but in the opposite generational direction. I was working on my latest tome at our daughter’s house in NC, when my 12 year old GK started reading it. Didn’t bother me until I remembered the first juicy part was in chapter 3. I write short chapters. I broke out into a cold sweat. Fortunately, lunch intervened.

    Good luck!

  11. Augustina says:

    I know how you feel. My mother is my grammer and spelling editor. I don’t want her to read the spicy parts in my story either. She is going to wonder why there are sections of the book missing. Do you think she’ll buy it if I tell her the dog ate it?

  12. Kathy Kulig says:

    Go Dad! Glad to hear your dad is going to read your book Rebecca. My mom wouldn’t let my step-dad read mine for years until the siblings gave her a hard time this past Christmas. She wouldn’t read my books either but started after I gave one to my Aunt. Then she asked for her own copy. She said it’s a really good story but had to skip the sex parts. My step-dad said it was a good story and they should make a movie out of it. LOL Gotta love him. http://www.kathykulig.com

  13. Fun post! My daughters (all adults) read my books, sex scenes and all.

  14. Sally Bayless says:

    Oh Rebecca, your putting green scene is hilarious. Best I can say about your Dad is that it doesn’t sound like he’ll go on and on about your book. Good luck!

  15. Laura Bickle says:

    I feel your pain. My dad is reading my book right now. My mom just finished it, and said that the sex scene was “tasteful.” :-S

  16. Since I’m 56 and my folks are in their early 80’s, I let them read my work. In fact, they are one of my best critiqe partners! Mom even made me aware how a certain sex scene would not work. Egads! But, they are married 65 years, and me-33. As an adult, I got over it. Majority of novels today, where couples are part of the plot, include sex.

  17. Melissa Arroyo says:

    Oh my God!!! What can I say! My father is more than a typical latino father. We have never spoken about sex. He knows I write but I haven’t told him I’m fascinated with sex and love my characters to have as much of it as they like. But, I do know he would be understanding if he knew English. Which he doesn’t so thank God for that.

    Let him read it Rebecca he will understand and enjoy your craft.

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  19. kathy says:

    Loved that scene… I sweat bullets when my 82 year old dad read my first book, and the sex was all behind closed doors! He couldn’t even say the word sex out loud, instead he remarked that he was glad I’d been discrete with my characters…

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